she pushed herself against me,
to get closer, or maybe for drunken balance.
it was because i challenged her.
definitely for balance.
her voice is soft when she says she loves me;
i swoon like
a child given candy.
cavities a plenty.
yellowed wallpaper, i don't even smoke
unnerved, i send a text message asking for help.
22 minutes later, i am in her car.
you keep barely enough food to live on
in your refrigerator. you can't connect
unless you're drunk. you are unneeding.
i know i love you all wrong.
tahitian is only spoken by 150,000 people.
island winds whip my hair into my lipgloss
while she makes me a drink.
blue shirt, red shirt.
veins versus blood
"how fitting" i thought.
no shirts, no shoes, no relationship.
her face was blank when she told me
"no, i am not in love with you"
i was shocked;
i shouldn't have been.
i didn't tell her i was in love with her anyway.
"the next time i get attached, I'm going to marry
the hardest part of a scab to rip off
is the final tendon. it always bleeds.
open wounds & wedding bells.
she smiles as she walks past on the street.
it is sunny; i recognize her. she doesn't know me.
as certainly as i love, i am the mother.
i smile, she frowns.
yes, she loved her once too. it's a shame
we don't know one another.
water puts out fire,
fire eats air,
air is essential to earth,
earth lives on water.
the crowd cheers, the ball drops;
the new year is validated.
i spill my beer when i cheer,
i have dropped the ball.
keep be grounded while i help you
fly, fly, fly...
she is a devout woman,
scientist of the culture.
am i just a specimen?
mirror mirror on the wall, who's
the most repulsive of them all?
in a disaffected world, sexuality
would be fluid.
today, i am a whore;
thanks for the defense.
self-loathing brings her to her knees;
skin peeled back, she's not as strong
as previously anticipated.
i assume nothing.
furiously pacing back & forth,
her furrowed brow asks why.
"i am just waiting."
forgive, but never forget.
she slithers her arms around me
in the divet of the slide. stars flutter,
then die out.
have you ever been in love?
i said yes.
i said yes.
i said yes.
the police ain't got nothing
on what we do to each other.
you smell like cheap rum, cheap cigarettes.
slurping at an empty cup, finding
cheap is the new classy.
if i ever loved you
once, i love you
women ache, i bow my head.
how appropriate to epitomize this.
maybe you were articulate,
but I'd like to think you were
stumbling like me.
i don't mind the sound of
your voice, i just hate the words you say.
lick my cheek,
touch my hips.
pleasure my mind until i cum in paragraphs & semi-colons.
i was hard for the cash,
so i was down for the crime.
"do you still respect me?"
you held me on your chest while i panicked.
i find myself missing you.
i find myself. period.
& afterwards our skin glowed
& i swear if anyone had seen us
we would have looked
i am fucking her.
or is she fucking me?
she crashed her car into the curb
while we talked in quieted whispers
with our hoods on.
7 mph home & we kept our eyes shadowed,
but our laughter loud.
discreet absences are not lost on
these forlorn eyes.
she pushed me into the counter,
i ran her into the wall.
my arm is bruised, her leg is bleeding.
fighting or making love;
is there really a difference?
i have a crush on her.
i am pathetic.
she makes me blush.
it is only blood underneath the skin.
it's been two weeks since we've last seen each other.
i remember her from a distance;
black trench coat, lack of eye contact.
i miss her.
to bleeding lip;
me open, here i am.